Bumpkin's "Effects"

So this post is coming mostly third party from one of Bumpkin's friends' moms, but it had me both in hysterics and terrified at the same time.  I thought it was worth documenting for blackmail use in the years to come.

So Jenn called me this morning and told me about the conversation she and Ellie had the night before about Bumpkin's "effects" on a certain little boy named Simon.  Jenn asked Ellie what she meant by effects and Ellie said, "you know, getting him to pay attention to you".  Ugh!  That starts in 1st grade?  So then Jenn asked how Bumpkin gets him to pay attention to her.  She demonstrated things such as twirling her hair around her finger, wiggling her hips as she walked, and some type of arm/hand thing Bumpkin apparently does while writing on the board.  Jenn said she was having trouble keeping it together, which I was not doing at all while on the phone.  Really, to think of my daughter purposely twirling her hair to get a boys attention, not to mention the way she was wording it, made me laugh.  But the next part really got me going.  Jenn asked Ellie how she knew the "effects" were working on Simon.  Ellie flat out said, "mom, everyone notices her effects".  Ugh!  I just had a vision of my daughter standing on her desk wiggling her hips and twirling her hair for the whole class to see!  What does she mean, everyone notices?  And who explained this concept to them and gave them the wording Ellie was using?  Has this, and therefore my daughter, been a classroom topic?  And lastly, was she avoiding the question about how she knows that Simon is noticing Bumpkin?  They haven't learned that yet too have they?

Oh brother, if this is 1st grade I don't think I will make it through middle school!